am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
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