The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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