Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
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