Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
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