think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
he was screaming in a recently acquired accent that he paid for delivery and they could cancel the entire order if they didn't come upstairs
I thought you said it was going to get worse not hilarious.
the delivery boy turned out to be my students mother. now she knows that i have incredibly low standards AND thanks to the fact that he still has dialup the pizza tracker was way off and she rang the bell and he answered mid bong rip.
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
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