In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
Randomize
