Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
Where'd you go last night?
Don't EVER let me photobomb a group of lesbians again. They made me their "straight mascot" and I ended up singing Donna summer tunes for beers at their apartment complex.
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
Randomize
