I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
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