i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
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