Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
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