oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
You would seriously think I would remember who put themselves in my phone as Burt Rynalds Moustache, but I don't. And I need to be reminded of who you are so I can give you a proper high five.
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
Randomize
