im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
