3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
Randomize
