Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
Randomize