Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
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