girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
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