Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
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