Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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