this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
Randomize
