The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
That was an excessively violent trivia night
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
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