I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
Randomize