it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Randomize
