is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
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