i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
