You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
Randomize
