I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
The idiot babysitter thought my dildo was a teething toy and gave it to our child.
Did you put it in the freezer again?
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
The cleaning lady has a form she makes me sign every time she finds me passed out in my office so she can keep track of how much to charge me each month for keeping quiet about it.
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
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