I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
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