All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
Randomize