Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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