why im i the only drunk person in the library?
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
Randomize
