Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
