Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
Multitasking record: pooping whilst putting on shoes and cleaning ear with q-tip. All while texting.
Update: fell off toilet, one shoe on, q-tip still in ear. Not a pro.
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
Randomize
