quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
Randomize
