brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
