saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
Randomize