gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
Randomize
