you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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