so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
Randomize
