Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
You had me at "let me see your balls"
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
Randomize
