White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
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