dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize
