i always forget guys have bellybuttons
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
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