Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
Randomize
