We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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