Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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