Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
Randomize
