First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
Randomize
