Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
Randomize
