I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
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