so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
Randomize