I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
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