I don't usually arrange sex via text message
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
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