His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
I need a burrito and a hug.
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
Randomize
