I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
Randomize
