guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
Every concussion has its silver lining
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
Randomize
