By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
Randomize