you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
Randomize
