I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
Randomize
