Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
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