What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
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