he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
