nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
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