After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
Randomize