I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
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