Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Randomize
