"it" just moved
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
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