You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
Randomize
